How do I feel about being old? Let me tell you.

This is a Letter to the Editor Friday, September 29, 2006

To the editor:

The other day a young person asked me how I felt about being old. I was taken aback, for I do not think of myself as old. Well, not too old.

Upon seeing my reaction, she was immediately embarrassed, but I explained that it was an interesting question, and I would ponder it, and let her know.

Old age, I decided, is a gift. I am now, probably for the first time in my life, the person I have always wanted to be. Oh, not my body! I sometimes despair over that, the white hair, the wrinkles, and the baggy eyes, the jiggly thighs, the sagging butt and the age spots. And often I am taken aback by the old woman who lives in my mirror, but I don't agonize over those things for long.

I would never trade my amazing friends, my wonderful life, my loving family for less grey hair or a flatter belly...As I've aged, I've become more kind to myself, and less critical of myself.

I've become my own friend. I don't chide myself for eating that extra cookie, or for not making my bed, or for buying that silly cement gecko that I really didn't need, but looks so avant-garde on my patio. I am entitled to overeat, to be messy, to be extravagant.

I have seen too many dear friends leave this world too soon, before they understood the great freedom that comes with aging.

Whose business is it if I choose to read until 4 a.m., or watch TV 'till the wee hours of the morning and sleep 'till noon?

I will dance with myself to those wonderful old tunes of the 30s, 40s, and 50s, and if at the same time wish to weep over a precious love, I will.

I will walk the beach in a swim suit that is stretched over a bulging midriff, and will dive into the waves with abandon if I choose to, despite the pitying glances from the bikini set. They too, will get old.

I know I am sometimes forgetful, but there again, some of life is just as well forgotten and I eventually remember the important things. Sure, over the years my heart has been broken. How can your heart not break when you lose a good friend, a loved one, or when a beloved pet dies? But broken hearts are what give us strength and understanding and compassion.

A heart never broken is pristine and sterile and will never know the joy of being imperfect.

I am so blessed to have lived long enough to have my hair turn grey, and to have my youthful laughs be forever etched into deep grooves on my face. So many have never laughed, and so many have died before their hair could turn silver.

I can say "no" and mean it, can say "yes" and mean it, can say "please don't" to a friend, and if it's taken the wrong way, a friend would understand, and not go off in a huff. As you get older, it is easier to be positive. You care less about what other people think, I don't question myself anymore. I've even earned the right to be wrong.

So, to answer your question, I like being old. It has set me free. I like the person I have become. I am not going to live forever, but while I am here, I will not waste time bickering or lamenting what could have been or worrying about what will be, my time is too short. For the first time in my life, I don't have to have a reason to do the things I want to do.

And I shall eat chocolate every single day.

Liz Norstrom

I like the way Liz thinks - klc.